i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
