I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
