alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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