so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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