i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
