Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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