do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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