If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
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