He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
