we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
