i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
