If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
There's always time for handjobs
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
