I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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