I just cut my nipple shaving
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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