OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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