So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
