Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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