where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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