then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
