Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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