I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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