he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
