I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
