I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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