My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
