Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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