i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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