...so i touched it.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
so much tequila, so little girl.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize