my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
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I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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