She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize