somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
