I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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