do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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