Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
