Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize