Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
