am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
