that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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