You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
