I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
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