can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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