Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.

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  (323): WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag. http://tfl.nu/8spr
  Replies (6) Good night (1361) Bad night (2133)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth

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  (858): i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth http://tfl.nu/1tze
  Replies (11) Good night (993) Bad night (2713)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.

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  (506): Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites. http://tfl.nu/r5fj
  Replies (19) Good night (3128) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?

  (305): View more from Florida

  Its worth a shot.

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  (918): Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits? (305): Its worth a shot. http://tfl.nu/0784
  Replies (9) Good night (1261) Bad night (2709)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong

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  (240): Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong http://tfl.nu/kgfp
  Replies (19) Good night (3647) Bad night (1652)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Did u at least say sorry?

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  (732): I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet. (908): Did u at least say sorry? http://tfl.nu/m6e4
  Replies (44) Good night (1137) Bad night (8270)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.

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  (253): Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser. http://tfl.nu/y4fk
  Replies (16) Good night (5736) Bad night (1405)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband

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  (512): ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband http://tfl.nu/p8hd
  Replies (5) Good night (540) Bad night (1853)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.

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  (952): Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead. http://tfl.nu/k34x
  Replies (6) Good night (555) Bad night (1784)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan

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  (218): I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan http://tfl.nu/xroh
  Replies (11) Good night (1938) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.

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  (310): oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars. http://tfl.nu/b3kf
  Replies (4) Good night (638) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity

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  (612): So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age (612): Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity http://tfl.nu/l9mx
  Replies (6) Good night (881) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us

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  (403): The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us http://tfl.nu/rgjh
  Replies (6) Good night (864) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.

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  (862): That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth. http://tfl.nu/z1m3
  Replies (0) Good night (563) Bad night (244)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus

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  (727): I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus http://tfl.nu/mpo6
  Replies (2) Good night (768) Bad night (155)

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