just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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