shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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