is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
