i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
