I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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