I wish I only lived at night.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
