I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
