I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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