I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
