I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize