Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I am available for nakedness
Randomize