We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
