we're chasing vodka with high fives
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
