he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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