Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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