Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
