i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
