Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
soo... how was my night?
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