How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
