watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
