fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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