I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize