Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My feet surprised me
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
