I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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