whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
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