Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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